By: Christie Ruffino
Dynamic Professional Women’s Network, Inc.
www.dpwomen.com

One of the headline stories a week ago was about a professional athlete who, without an apparent reason, was denied the opportunity to experience an opportunity he worked so hard to achieve. Tiquan Underwood loved being a New England Patriot so much that he shaved their emblem into his hair but was tragically cut from the team on Saturday, just hours before the Super Bowl. To say that he was disappointed is an understatement, but during this adversity he remained honorable and positive. Although I was not able to find his exact quote, I heard one of his comments were that; God gives us difficult circumstances to overcome so we can become successful over-comers.

We all face challenges in life from time to time. There is no way to avoid this truth and there is no way to become exempt from the pain and suffering that usually accompanies it. Weather your specific challenge is as small as a minor traffic accident or as large as losing a loved one; or if it seems that you are faced with a regular supply of challenging times or you are fortunate to be fairly challenge free, we all have to do the best we can to overcome our personal challenges in the best way we can.

At the beginning of every New Year, the topic of resolutions and goal setting always comes to the forefront of everyone’s minds. Although I am not a proponent of resolutions, I am a firm believer of goal setting and have seen firsthand how powerful this exercise can be. You have probably read many articles already this year on how to set and achieve goals so I don’t want to go into that whole process. I do however want to point out that, in my opinion, there are two characteristics that must be present when creating your goals for them to be worthwhile and successful.

The first characteristic that should be included in your goals is that they should be “Scary” yet obtainable. This is so important yet so often overlooked in the goal setting process. It is okay for some of your goals to be common and rewarding like getting a new car, going on a vacation, obtaining a promotion, growing your business etc. But why not reach for the stars with most of your goals and strive for outcomes way bigger than you would have ordinarily desired.

Dream BIG, believe BIG, achieve BIG, and be BIG!!!!

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Welcome to the New Year.  Let’s start with a definition of  “Optimal Well Being”.

Optimal is ‘Most Desirable Possible’.    Well is ‘In a Satisfactory Condition’.  Being is ‘The Quality of Existence’ or ‘Essential Nature’.  So, here we have our topic:  Goal Setting for the Most Desirable, Satisfactory Condition of our True Nature.   From a spiritual point of view, the earth, our world, all creatures, and man are ever changing, growing, searching, and expanding for the best, that is our true nature.    Or to steal a quote from the US Army,  “Be All You Can Be”.

Notice the word “Be” that is not the same as “Do”.  Long ago at the EST training(given by Werner Erhard in the 70’s), I learned that, as humans, the creation of what we want goes in this order: BE, DO, HAVE.   In our goal setting, it is important to remember how we achieve our goals – our desired results.  First we Be, from that we are inspired to Do, then we Have the result.  Let’s break that down with the emphasis on “Be”. The word ‘Be’ means to exist, to have the quality of existing, to be identical to existing.  In other words, in order to ‘Have’ the result, I have to Be the result first.  And how can you  ‘Be’? You ‘Be’ the type of person that already has that goal, that result, in your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions.

Another year has come and gone as the hustle and bustle of the holidays are now behind us. January is the time many of us start to think and reflect on those resolutions we failed to achieve last year.  OK, let’s stop here for a moment.  And what I mean by that is, let’s S- step back, T-think, O-observe, and then P-proceed.

Instead of thinking about what you didn’t accomplish last year, step back from those original thoughts and think about those things you did accomplish – I’m sure you’ll find many more than you might have ever imagined.  Now observe your feelings as you acknowledge these successes versus dwell on your failures – and they don’t have to be big successes – great things come in little packages!  Feelings of disappointment, sadness, discouragement, or anger will magically morph into positive feelings of happiness, pride, excitement, and hopefulness.  To quote Barbara Fredrickson, world-renowned researcher and psychologist in her book Positivity:  “Positivity opens us.  The first core truth about positive emotions is that they open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and more creative”.

With your newly opened and creative mind, begin asking yourself the following questions:

• What strengths do I have that allowed me those successes last year?
• Who or what supported me when I needed it most?
• How did those successes align with my core values?
• What strategies did I use to overcome my obstacles?
• What is most important to me now when it comes to my own health and well-being?

You are now ready to proceed forward in setting goals (not resolutions) that are optimal for your well-being.  Remember, your answers to the above questions will fuel your success!